May 1, 2013

I'm sick still for the past 2-3 days now. Constant runny nose, constant watery eyes, throat itches, sometimes pain under breast bone, sometimes can't breathe well, dried nose, dried lips, bad migraine, body sore (몸살), toothache, gum swelling around one tooth, throbbing head pains, coughing here and there, bubble farting a lot and burping a lot. I think it all started with me not brushing my teeth well. Dear life, I promise I'll brush my teeth everyday... My boyfriend just text me "Boat.. I should buy a boathouse" XD
Right now, I'm trying to sneeze, but sneeze won't come out, so I would get runny nose from my left side and I would get watery eyes on the right side. When I swallow, I hear the sound of ear cracking bones. I have Burt's bees Chapstick on my lip and and Vaseline around my dried, damage nose from blowing out my nose a lot. Boyfriend called that he's buying equate pill. Before I ate dinner, I ate some edible candies gift from a friend who thinks it'll help my sickness. I don't know if the candies worked, I am not feeling sad or depressed, so that's good, but it didn't cure or help relieve pain. Well marijuana can't cure anything that instant, it takes awhile to cure cancer, people over-exaggerate saying it cures instantly, which I think is bullshit. I don't drink alcohol or smoke, so trying out edible candy was interesting. I don't like the smell of marijuana though, it gives me headache because I'm allergic to scent of cut grass after it gets lawn mowned. I feel so chilly right now, the fan is on. Need to pee.
Yes, I have toilet papers up my nose to stop the process of running nose. My leg feels chilly... But I need this fan because without it, I'll be so freaking dry. Oh yeah I saw some blood inside my nose, sigh too much nose blowing caused it probably. I really need a humidifier!! Our penguin humidifier broke, we got it from amazon. I should blow my nose. I just blew a lot, holy shit my left side especially. I think it was just waiting to BLOW OUT, be free! Right side, little more blood again. I'm waiting my boyfriend.. He's at Walmart with his sister, Yoonmyung. She's a little tipsy, so she couldn't drive her car. She drank wine during and after dinner. It's 7:37pm right now. Pee.. I should pee.
Second batch of toilet papers I used for watery eyes and runny nose.
When I went to pee, I realized the fan was increased to 3 and not the usual one, no wonder it was super cold. Good thing I got up and checked. So I told myself, I won't be lazy when it comes to health. I'll push myself. I don't want to be in this problem again. I guess the older you get, you realize that you want to avoid things plus eat better. I think that's what my dad was telling me when we were in Canada. Maybe that's how his immune system got better or maybe after he pulled off his wisdom teeth out. I think it's my root canal and wisdom teeth is the problem to my sickness and stomach problem. I'm really scared of root canal and wisdom teeth, but I should really get that fixed even though I'm really scared. I don't want to have bacterias growing inside my stomach along with my future baby, oh god no.

I imagine sometimes what it feels like to have a real baby in front of you. How can I possibly take care of the baby if I'm sick myself? Why am I doing this to my body? Was it because I was stupid thinking nothing will get worse if I don't take care of myself? That's probably the reason. Plus motivation? Maybe lack of motivation too like Yuki Pho said. She could be right about motivation. I like how she puts negative words into positive words. She doesn't try to sound too serious, but some little joke to it. I like that. She's "kind of" my role model even though she is younger. I like the way she thinks!

Hmm it's 7:47pm, I wonder if my boyfriend is taking awhile because maybe his sister needed to go to the Chase bank. Oh my god thinking about Chase bank. I checked my credit score 2 days ago and it said $1000+ went to collection agency, I wasn't sure why because I always pay my debts on time, so this was weird how I saw money in collection agency that I did not expect at all. I hate collection agency, so that's why with responsibility, I tried my best to avoid that, so how did I get involved with them? I said I was going to call. The number should be on my Microsoft word, I just need to check it. Boyfriend said I should check my credit score after few days later to see if I'm still listed on the collection agency because it doesn't make sense. If your loans says you have $1,500*, then where is the other $1,000+ that was supposed to be part of the loans? When it's telling me that's how much I'm in debt, $1,500*, then doesn't it mean that's how I'm really much in debt or is with collection agency, it's the separate thing? Giving me a headache... I paid my bills on time. On time I paid my bills late, but I did pay it 2 days before it was due and Sallie Mae called collection agency that I didn't pay my monthly bill. Why did they report them when the due wasn't passed yet? Idiots.


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